At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
