We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
