we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
