I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
