there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
