You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize