if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
