I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
