I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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