so explain again why im purple
no
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
