she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
