Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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