Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
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You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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