then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
