I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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