You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
