Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
