I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
