it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
