Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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