i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
