Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
