I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
