Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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