soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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