ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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