i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
