omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
