nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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