my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love you.
Bad choice
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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