Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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