i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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