yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
