another moral hangover. fuck.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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