I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
