So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
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Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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