Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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