I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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