she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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