Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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