Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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