he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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