I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
