Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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