I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
