Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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