I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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