Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My vagina is officially offended.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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