She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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