All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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