He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize