I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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