Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
