I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
