i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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