dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
