The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
