you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you mean i was at the winter classic?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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