never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize