She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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