Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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