i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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