ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
