it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
