pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize