So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
did i walk over a car last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
