Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
