I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
