Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
